


can i hold your hand (no one has to know)

by velvetfics



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bullying, Disability, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gay Male Character, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, crazy rich emo kids ;(
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 08:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16036307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetfics/pseuds/velvetfics
Summary: Kenma has a big fat secret, and Kuroo has a knack for uncovering the truth at the most unconventional times.





	can i hold your hand (no one has to know)

**Author's Note:**

> very rough and haven't edited. this is the small beginning of a fic that im writing to relieve exam stress. it doesn't have a solid plot at this point but bear with me.

**Prologue: There is nothing quite like love**

...

Kenma leans further over the edge, lowering his body. His knuckles turn white from gripping the gymnasium balcony railing.

There was a black hole where his heart should be. It filled him with loneliness and vacuumed out what little hope was left. It was always there, waiting for Kenma to acknowledge its presence. This chaos-hailing, sweeping tsunami of despair would consume him until he was choking on his own breath. Despondent thoughts clouded his vision entirely. So much so that he couldn't remember the last time he had seen the sun.

_How does one remember the touch of warmth when lost in a blizzard?_

Tears leak from the corners of his eyes, streakily travelling up his face into his hairline as he hangs upside down. He's gasping for air that never seems to reach his lungs. His body screams, opposing, fighting, protesting against his existence. He wants to scream but he can only push out a croak. There is nothing more heartbreaking than watching someone lose control. 

The blonde boy hangs from the railing until his tears stop and his hysterical gulps for air soften into uneven, shallow pants. He uses the little strength left in him to push himself back over the railing and falls to the ground with a faint thud. Clutching his chest, he stares up into the ceiling above him, losing himself in a comfortable numbness. Which he preferred over the rattling, unsettled feeling of anxiety that coursed through him for the majority of his days.

Moments later, the gymnasium doors click open. The sound thunders through the empty gym, ten times louder to Kenma's sensitive ears. He knew who it was. The newcomer's feet shuffled, soft pit-pats against the wooden floors as they made their way to the rungs of the ladder to the balcony. There was a humph and a grunt and silence, followed by approaching footsteps.

They paused, inches away from Kenma's limp figure on the ground, his hand still clutching his shirt's fabric over his heart. His eyelashes and hair were wet with tears, sticking to the sides of his face. The dark eye rings and hallowed cheeks were testaments to his sleepless nights with the black hole inside him.

"Oh, Kenma," the other boy's voice was soft and low like a baritone. They dropped to their knees in a muted thud. "I'm here now."


End file.
